Holy shit y’all! "Behind The Paint Super Deluxe Mega Watt Gold Stamp Version!" That’s what we might as well call the audiobook version that we've been working on. Peep this shit out. I’m reading the book into the microphone, right? But I'm ad-libbing mad shit and adding all kinds of info to the stories. I'm like expanding on everything and also giving updates on the people we mention in the book, like telling whatever happened to them, or where they are now. It’s so fuckin’ crazy dope. For fans of “Behind The Paint,” this is the ultimate version of that book, and all you gotta do is lay back and listen to it on USB plugs. You can plug it into your iPad, computer, phone, tablet or just about anything. And by the time we’re finished, this bitch will be something like 20-hours long. Some chapters take me an hour to read because I’m ad-libbing so much extra information that’s not in the original book. And check this out -- when we talk about a certain rapper from back in the day or something that influenced us, we take a break and play some of that rapper’s music so you can hear what were talking about.
Another example -- there was this crazy fresh radio DJ in Detroit way back in the day who was unlike any other DJ in the world. He would talk all slow and deep for a mad long time between each song and he always said the freshest shit. At first he was on 98.7, which is a rap and R&B station, and his show would come on at like midnight, and he would play whatever the fuck he wanted. He'd suddenly play Led Zeppelin on an R&B station! He played so much crazy shit. He got fired from 98.7 and he would suddenly be on 107.5, doing the same shit. Nobody ever knew what he looked like or ever saw him. He was mad mysterious but he ended up being on just about every station in Detroit. Anyway, we loved him and we talk about him in the book and yup, all the sudden you can hear a clip of him talkin’. That’s what makes the audio version so dope, is you get to hear everything we're talking about. I read a chapter a day, unless we got something else going on that day, but when I’m done reading the chapter, Young Wicked adds all kinds of crazy fresh sound affects and he adds echoes to certain words to emphasize them. It’s just really, really fuckin’ dope y’all. In fact, since “Behind The Paint” was such a success, I'm gonna go ahead and say that the audiobook, which we're calling "The Story of ICP and the 6 Jokers Cards" is one of the freshest products Psychopathic Records has ever produced. It don’t come out until Gathering 17 (floor rumbles) and you ninjas are gonna fuckin’ love it to death. You and your crew can just listen to the story straight from the horse’s mouth all the way home. SO DOPE!
As far as Juggalo Weekend goes YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! Both nights are sold out clean, but because I'm the motherfuckin’ Duke Of The Wicked, I happen to have the inside word ... The word is that on the week of the shows, Harpo's is puttin 200 extra tickets on sale. That's the word I'm hearing. So you might still have a chance to catch the epic return of Esham and ICP at Harpo's and The Wicked Clowns are performing “The Ringmaster” album in its entirety. Can you fuckin’ believe that shit? Did you really think these shows weren’t gonna sell out? This is fuckin’ Detroit! The home of the Wicked Shit! Esham and ICP back together on the same show is like the fuckin’ Beatles reuniting around here, man. The only stale thing about the Killjoy Club show on Friday, February 19 at St. Andrew’s is that, well of course Koopsta passed away, God rest his soul, and Crunchy Black is still locked up so that fuckin’ sucks. But DJ Paul, ICP and Young Wicked will all be in the house tearin' shit up, believe that, buddy!
Also at the Feb 19th, Killjoy Club show at St. Andrew's Hall you got Eazy-E's son Lil E, with NWA's DJ Yella, Mastamind, Lil Wyte and Tha Have Knots (ABK, Big Hoodoo, and Bonez Dubb) Plus doors open early so you can come inside the warm venue and check out a full show of JCW Wrestling!
On Feb 20th at Harpo's Concert Hall is The Ringmaster Show with ICP & Esham plus you’re gonna see Molly Gruesome, Swag Toof, King 810, Young Wicked, DJ Paul and fuckin' Mushroomhead. The shit is crazy fuckin’ doooope!
Ninjas on the West side! Don’t forget to come check me! Violent J, with my hype man Young Wicked for my solo charity tour! All proceeds go straight to St. John's Children's Hospital of Illinois. I'm gonna be slaughtering shit with classic ICP jams all night long. And I'm even playing a show for the infamous 505 Juggalos right in the heart of Albuquerque, a city ICP has been banned from for about 10 fuckin' years! And joining me and Young Wicked for this trail of distruction is Compton's own Lil’ E and the super sexy Nova Rockafeller (but she's bringin' her boyfriend with her. Boooooo!!!!).
Seriously though, we need you ninjas help. We need you to come out for a bomb ass cause. These kids are sick. Let’s show the world how dope Juggalos really are. This is the last time I'm gonna ever be doing a solo tour, too, so come on out and catch this ultra rare show and have a mad good time with us, please. Do it for the kids, man! For the kids, yo!
Next Hatchet Herald, I’m gonna tell you ninjas all about my brother Jumpsteady's new deck building, Juggalo card game, "INTO THE ECHO SIDE" and about the dope illustrations done by the amazing Tom Wood. You should be poppin’ wood right now just from hearing about how dope this game is. But more on this freshness next episode.
DO NOT FORGET TO GO TO THE BRAND NEW WWW.JUGGALOGATHERING.COM RIGHT NOW AND WET YOUR DAMN PANTIES BECAUSE THE COMMERCIAL ALONE WILL GIVE YOU CHILLS FROM THE BACK OF YOUR NECK, DOWN YOUR SPINE, INTO YOUR BUTTCRACK, ACROSS YOUR ITCH AND UP YOUR NUTS AND OUT YOUR DICK HOLE!
And now some very personal news from my life...
Some ninjas might find this message sad but I can assure you there is no reason to be upset. I'll just come right out and say it – Sweet Sugar Slam and I are no longer romantically connected. As of this past month or so, we have officially separated. But here is the good news: We strongly remain the very best of friends. Much like Shaggy and I, Michelle is my better half and will always be. Our relationship was anything but a waste of time. We produced two incredible, amazing and beautiful children that we will continue to raise together as a super team. We're separated as lovers but we're connected in life forever. We continue to watch movies and crash at each other's houses as well as take our kids out to dinner, movies, wrestling, whatever the fuck we wanna do. We will always hold a deep love and respect for each other forever. No matter who I might become involved with in the future, Michelle will forever come first as she is my babies’ mama, best friend and partner in this life.
Sugar Slam has done so much great shit in the name of Juggalettes. She cares deeply about all of her Twitter friends and we both ask that all Juggalos, please, PLEASE when you talk to us or see us anywhere, PLEASE do not say, "Sorry to hear about you guys breaking up," because to us, there is nothing to be sorry about. We're moving on and watching each other's backs as we do it. If anybody out there in this cruel world were ever to fuck with Sugar Slam, the entire Psychopathic Records team would kidnap them, tie them up, and very slowly twist their head off their body.
Of course, Sugar Slam will continue to help us in the studio with her amazing singing abilities and there will even be a Sugar Slam album coming in the future, produced by yours truly and Young Wicked. She will always and forever host our infomercials and continue her fresh ass charity work and all the good shit she has always done at Psychopathic. Nothing will change. Her radio show "Sugar Slam's Rock It or Sock It Video Review" with Kuma on PsychopathicRadio.com will continue and she will keep right on appearing on “The Juggalo Show.” She officially is the first female ever on Psychopathic Records and will always be looked at and treated as a queen by all of us here at the Hatchet. Her incredible voice has appeared on multiple albums by Dark Lotus, The Psychopathic Rydas, ICP and just about every artist on the label. She is brilliant and multi-talented and Juggalos really have no idea how many of the products and events put on by Psychopathic Records come from the mind of Sugar Slam – the toy drives, the canned food drives, the charity tours, etc. She has a heart as big as a beach ball and she's hotter than a fat kid’s car seat after a three-hour drive.
Now that we're technically just friends, I could only hope that means we're friends with benefits, but that’s not likely. That's our business though. She's awesome. Her body is beautiful but there's no need for me to get all into that, although if I could, I would LOVE to tell you ninjas all about it. But due to my respect for her I can’t do it here in public. I will say this though for you male ninjas out there and females into other females -- you have to know that naked … Sugar Slam is a fuckin' perfect 10. There, I said it. And I've already said too much.
I’m writing this whole thing because as you ninjas know, ICP has always had an open relationship with the Juggalos. We're honest about most of the goings on in our world and we tell y’all pretty much everything. Plus everyday, ninjas everywhere always ask me, "How’s Sugar Slam and the family, bro?" And I just figured I'd let everybody know what was up. Sugar Slam even has some comments of her own about the matter. Here they are...
Hey y'all! Michelle Bruce a.k.a Sweet Sugar Slam here to share a few thoughts with a people I care very deeply for. Joe Bruce and I have indeed decided to separate. Now, before you take that term as a negative, or think of it as some sort of an end, please believe it is quite the opposite. We had and still will always have a deep love and respect for one another. We've formed a connection so tight for well over a decade, and it will continue until the earth can no longer handle the weight of its strength. This is not a sorrowful time in life for either of us. When you find a partner in life, a ride or die, a true, real, in every sense of that overused word, you keep that shit, and you nourish it. Feed it with love, laughter, and friendship. We are the parents to JJ Bruce and Ruby Bruce, the only children there will ever be from our blood for eternity. We will continue as we have through this life, together always, as best friends and confidants. I and he will come first in each other’s eyes, and if anybody has a problem with that, they will have to take a seat, sit real long and hard, close their eyes, and ponder on life until they learn what the word BOND means. Psychopathic is a part of me and shit ain’t changing with any of it. When it comes down to it, every single one of you reading this gives me the strength and passion to do what I do. I respect this empire that was built on hard work, dedication, drive, and ultimate imagination. This is why it’s important for me to share this as my life. It will never change. I’m a grown ass woman and Joe Bruce is a grown ass man and this decision was made together, for the better of the souls we bear inside of us. So no sad emojis, no apologies, and definitely no pity. JB & MB, VJ & SS will neva die, muthafuckas! I love y'all. Thanks for reading, and R-E-S-P-E-C-T is what it means to me.
In other flava…
Juggalo Weekend Traveler’s Guide
We know ninjas will be coming from all over the world to experience the freshness of this year’s Juggalo Weekend celebration. Day Two of the festivities will be held at Harpo’s Concert Hall on the East Side of Detroit, where ICP will be performing “The Ringmaster” in its entirety, plus Esham, Young Wicked, Swag Toof and others will be flipping your wig.
Here’s the thing, though. There’s no getting around it—Harpo’s is located in a crazy ass neighborhood. The venue is dope as fuck and has a long and glorious history as one of Detroit’s best live music spots, but it’s smack dab in a really bad part of the city. Ain’t gonna front—we don’t want you ninjas staying in any hotels within walking distance of Harpo’s. All kinds of crazy criminal shit goes on after dark in that area and we don’t want any Juggalos getting roughed up or hurt before or after the show.
So are some recommendations for Metro Detroit-area hotels that are located in some not-quite-as-sketchy neighborhoods. Actually, there are plenty of Downtown Detroit hotels, like at the casinos and shit, but the problem is those places are EXPENSIVE AS FUCK! So these hotels are not only safer but most rooms should be under $100.
One more thing about Harpo’s—WE ARE HIRING EXTRA SECURITY GUARDS TO PATROL THE PARKING LOT ON THE NIGHT OF THE SHOW! This is to ensure everyone’s safety and to make sure no one fucks with your car and shit. So just lock your car up, and head to the venue and if anyone tries to fuck with you, just holler for the nearest security officer, who should be nearby.
So here are the hotels we recommend:
1331 trumball ave.
Detroit, mi 48216
Detroit regency hotel
1999 e jefferson ave, detroit, mi 48207
Shorecrest motor inn
1316 e jefferson ave, detroit, mi 48207
Red roof inn - warren
26300 dequindre road
warren, mi 48091
Red roof inn - southfield
27660 northwestern highway
southfield, mi 48034
Red roof inn detroit - st clair shores
31800 little mack road
roseville, mi 48066
Red roof inn - melvindale
17600 dix rd, melvindale, mi 48122
Best western greenfield inn
3000 enterprise drive
Allen park, mi 48101
Comfort inn – dearborn
20061 michigan ave, dearborn, mi 48124
Comfort inn – warren
Address: 7001 convention blvd, warren, mi 48092
Get ready for the ringmaster show with the fresh new hatchet gear line!
Be sure and hit up hatchet gear this weekend to peep all the new gear celebrating the almighty leader of the dark carnival! And by the way…we got in more of those fresh ass varsity jackets that you’ve been asking about for a while now! Check it!